Life

First things first…Georgetown beat Cedar Park last week 28-6! This was a HUGE win. G’town has never beaten CP. And our resident star running back scored, yet again, 3 touchdowns! We’re having so much fun right now it’s ridiculous! The district we’re in is one of the toughest in the state. Starting district play with a win was BIG, BIG , BIG!! This week we play Pflugerville on their turf. It will be a barn-burner. I’ll let you know what happens!

Next, October 1 was my birthday. I share the same birthday with Julie Andrews….
I think this is very cool. Please send me, or Julie, your celebratory greetings.

Now… onto bigger life stuff…

I love teenagers. Since my freshman year at Baylor, I’ve been involved in the Youth Ministry of whatever church I’ve attended. I’m not really sure where this affinity for adolescents came from; maybe it’s from my own experience as a teenager. My parents divorced when I was in the 8th grade. After spending a few really long months with my mother, I went to live with my dad. Dad did a great job, though he had much help. There were many good people at my church who took me under their wing and helped raise me, along side my dad and grandparents. I’ve always been immensely grateful for all those people: Theresa, Kim, Don, Mark, Vicki and so, so many more. Perhaps I’ve always felt like investing in teenagers is my way of honoring those people and God for being there for me. Whatever the reason, I think teenagers are fun and cool and I like hanging out with them. Over the years, I’ve spent many hours talking to, mostly girls, about the stuff going on in their lives: the boys they like, the boys they did like, parents, not fitting in…you know, the typical teenage stuff. I mostly listen. I’m better at that than giving any kind of counsel or advice. Recently, I’ve encountered a not so typical situation with a couple of students I know. To cut to the chase: they are 18, still in high school, dating and she’s pregnant. I know this happens all the time, but after more than 20 years of hanging with teenagers it’s the 1st time for kids I know and love. Even now, 2 weeks after hearing the news, I’m still reeling. They are obviously devasted and don’t know what is the right thing to do. Duh. Both of them are talking to different colleges, pursing scholarships, applying for grants…all the things you normally do as a Senior. I know one of these young people better than the other and I’m being asked, “What should I do?” “Oh, shit. Please don’t ask me,” is what’s going through my head. Abortion is a consideration for them. They just don’t see how they can keep the baby and still live out the next 4-5 years like they’ve been planning. And yet, it’s a baby; a little human. What would you tell your kid in this situation??? I hate this issue because I’m not really sure what I believe. Well, that’s not really true…I believe in life. And I believe this decision is one for individuals and not for the government. So, I’m pro-life and pro-choice. It’s not a black and white issue for me. My long-time good friend, pastor and youth minister for zillions of years says the question is (on the issue of abortion), “How is life, all of life, honored and revered?” For these kids, keeping the baby certainly gives reverence and honor to the life of the baby. But does it give revereance and honor to the lives of these 2 students? They tried to practice safe sex and something went wrong. Does one accident justify giving up their dreams for college? Does keeping the baby honor all the hard work they’ve been doing for years to even have the opportunity to go to college? At least one of these kids is doing something no one in her family has ever done. No one in her family has even graduated from high school, much less go to college. She was hell-on-wheels when she was younger: constantly in trouble, failing school…she’s making her way out of all that; she’s breaking a cycle. Does it honor life to give all of that up? Yes, they could both go to work for a few years and go back to school later. Maybe this is God’s plan for their life, as some of my theologically conservative friends would say. Well, for all the questions and struggles these young people will not get to make the decision for themselves. The decision has been made for them by one set of parents. The abortion happened yesterday and both young people are immensely sad. I’m not sure that either one of them would say this isn’t the route they would have taken if given the choice, but they are still sad. And so am I. The young man is pretty open and wanting to talk. She isn’t talking so much right now. I’m really concerned for her; I just can’t imagine being in her shoes. She left school early yesterday afternoon to go to the doctor and she went right back to school this morning. Their lives go on. One of the things I’ve told them is that there is loss of life to be grieved…and it must be grieved. If they had kept he baby, they would have needed to grieve the life they have been planning and dreaming for. Instead they must grieve the loss of human life.

For the traditional church system I grew up in, my beliefs about abortion don’t really follow party lines. But maybe they are right. Maybe abortion for any reason is just wrong, after all you are killing a life. Ugh…it just seems so much more complex than that. And I’ve seen that complexity in the eyes of these amazing young adults. I wonder, though, that making a decision whether to keep the baby or not is actually the easiest part of this whole deal. Dealing with grief is hard, hard work.

It’s difficult to be concise with my thoughts and condense hours of conversations. And perhaps this isn't even an appropriate forum. But here I am. I’ve had several conversations with these kids and few trusted friends of mine. Hopefully, something I’ve said to the teenagers will somehow be helpful. The conversations with my friends have been good to get all the thoughts out of my head, though I’m not sure it really makes any of this any easier or clearer. And now, I’m telling all of you. I’m interested to hear what you think. Bottom line…this whole thing just really sucks.